tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46919918069719427912024-03-13T17:11:16.471+02:00EEbEEs arbitrary comments (...¿...)everyone needs a healthy dose of arbEEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-28950430780295086922014-11-22T01:14:00.000+02:002014-11-22T01:17:06.682+02:00What's missing in modern music<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Louis Armstrong has captured so many hearts with this beautiful song. His low, rumbling voice perfectly suited to the mood being set. The words and emotions are equally powerful yet the real magic </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">for me </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">is the character of the man. Just watch this video...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Character is a trait that most modern musicians lack. Sure they have incredible vocal talent, killer looks, platinum album sales and hoards of mindless teenage fans. It's all a bunch of 'A' grade crap if all those things come without that most fundamental of all desirable human traits, to <b>have a</b> <b>personality</b>. Case in point...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">John Legend... he is really just an empty vessel channelling commercial manure in the right direction to cash in on album sales from image conscious girls. I can't even watch the whole 4 minute video without dozing off from the lack of life in his performace. I'm pretty sure his manager is standing at the edge of the stage with a "smile now" sign he picks up as a reminder every 15 seconds. Bleugh!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Don't dispair masses, not all new millennium musicians are trash, if you look hard enough some successful bands have Ooodles of personality (feel free to link me up to your favourite post Y2K 'musicians <b>with </b>personality' in the comments or on this thread in FB).<br /><br />I leave you with my nomination:</span></div>
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EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-55273163369897589822014-03-31T17:21:00.000+02:002014-03-31T17:21:22.585+02:00Formula Z z z ...<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Says an F1 journalist>>> "The cars are much
quieter than before. There is no argument about that. But was the old engine
sound particularly enjoyable?" (<span class="byline-name">Andrew Benson</span>
<span class="byline-title">Chief F1 writer, BBC)</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GHu66qeDJOo/UzmGR41e2FI/AAAAAAAADr0/rlb45V6xokM/s1600/F1+ZZZzzz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GHu66qeDJOo/UzmGR41e2FI/AAAAAAAADr0/rlb45V6xokM/s1600/F1+ZZZzzz.jpg" height="166" width="400" /></a></div>
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Let me analyse the above statement in my humble opinion as a
Formula 1 fan.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Question: How many racing
events do you see with 4 wheeled cars lapping a track?</b></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Answer: Roughly 3854
per month (okay I made this up, but my point stands).</i></div>
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So what makes F1 stand out from the crowd? Some would argue
that you are watching the pinnacle of motorsport with the most advanced
technology. Sure, as a fan I like to read about the tech and appreciate the
bragging rights behind being the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">most</b>
advanced and blah blah blah... Something still bothered me after watching the
first two races in the season though.</div>
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It wasn’t loud enough.</div>
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I find myself in a rather strange situation where I am
annoyed <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">at me </b>for being so shallow.
I always thought I was someone who appreciated attention to detail and subtleties.
Now, after getting just that, I am left bored and unentertained. I miss the noise,
it was exciting, unique and just plain mad. I wish had a little gnome to follow
Bernie Ecclestone around. I’d call him Dobby, and I would give Dobby a
universal remote control with which to mute Bernie’s TV every time he tries to
watch something. I’d totally give Dobby a sock if he did that till the day
Bernie died. Mute! No sound for you Mr Ecclestone. Mute again!!</div>
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I NEEED excitement. I want to see a bunch of 50 million
dollar cars smashing into each other, cartwheeling off the track and into some
trees leaving a trail of destruction and a really big fire somewhere, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Anywhere</i>! Back in the refuelling days
fires were common, I fondly recall instances where entire fuel hoses and a
couple of men holding them were dragged down the pit lane in a ball of fire
because a twitching driver had too much caffeine before the race. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">RIP refuelling</i>. I fondly recall engines
exploding on the last lap of a race covering the track in a mixture of fire
smoke and oil. So far the only problems hybrid engines have had are software
related. SOFTWARE! Watching a live broadcast of a software issue is pathetic,
the car just stops and won’t go till some tekkie in the pits plugs in his
laptop. Drivers can’t even floor it anymore! For crying out loud! It’s a
friggin RACE!</div>
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This weekend I praised Lewis Hamilton for having a perfect
weekend (pole position, lead the whole race and stand at the top of the podium
at the end) but at the back of my mind I thought “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">jeepers he should be crowned as winner of the most boring race in the
field too”</i>. I read an article in which Lewis Hamilton describes how
challenging it is for the drivers with the new rules. </div>
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Okay, I thought, challenging
= exciting >>therefore>> races will be more fun, right.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right?</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WRONG!!! </div>
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The crux of Hamilton’s argument is that it is more difficult
for the drivers because they have to do some maths while driving to make sure
they use only a specified amount of fuel over the duration of the race (100
litres). If you get the math wrong you will go very fast, beat almost everyone
and celebrate on the podium with some bubbly shortly before FIA officials in
black suits take all your points and your trophy away (hey, at least you won
some memories and entertained your home crowd Mr Riccardo). Hamilton then goes
through details about how tough <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuel saving</i></b> strategies are and how
one has to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“lift and coast”</i></b> to the corners to make your fuel ration last
till the checkered flag (see the rest of this diplomatic article on <a href="http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/formula1/26767232">http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/formula1/26767232</a>
). In any case it is great that drivers are challenged but what about the fans?
I do not tune in to a live race to see cars ‘lifting and coasting’. I wish
Bernie would retire already so Ross Brawn can come back to fill his shoes and
make F1 fans happy again.</div>
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EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-70083420643991532342012-11-08T15:56:00.001+02:002012-11-08T15:56:56.655+02:00Opposable thumb Thursday<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ever wondered what it would be like to be an animal? Well, SURPRISE! Under scientific classification you (a human) fall under the great Kingdom that is 'Animalia'. Also included in this category are earthworms, mosquitoes, whales and pretty much everything that moves which isn't a virus, plant or weather.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've done it again, I've gone and killed off my whole big idea by destroying the opening line. Oh well, let's pretend that becoming an animal meant that you lost your human abilities which were not used by other animal species. What would you consider to be your most valuable ability? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Talking? Imagine our world without verbal communication. Social interaction would probably be reduced to a smile and a wave. People would become solitary and reclusive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What about intellect? If we all had the mind of Mitt Romney and the people who voted for him (booyah!) we'd probably be happy, living in a sort of dumbfounded bliss. Ignorant of the world and its real issues but also shunned and avoided by everyone and everything...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I could go on, instead I will focus on what I consider to be one of our most valued abilities, "Effective use of opposable thumbs". You see I have just spent the last 24 hours living with limited use of both my thumbs. Yesterday morning I tore a piece of my right thumb-nail off with a modified cheese grater and sliced the tip off my left thumb off with a knife in a freak citrus accident. Since then my life has been unbelievably difficult! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Us humans built our world with thumbs and FOR thumbs. Not only is it difficult for me to perform mundane everyday activities like writing, preparing food and eating but it's also nearly impossible to operate our most basic machinery! Try opening a tap or buttoning up a shirt without your thumbs. At one point today I was on the verge of strangling an innocent bag of peanuts in a failed attempt to get at the contents (picture Homer Simpson grabbing Bart 'Why you Little...'). Thankfully I realised that I had a pair of scissors in my desk to help save the day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In any case this post is my effort to bring to everyones attention, that marvel of the human body, the opposable thumb. Always respect and take care of your thumbs good readers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">PS: Have you ever tried using a pair of scissors without your thumbs? I'm afraid to announce</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "peanut bag-1; EEbEE-0"</span></div>
<br />EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-48751255486614056532011-04-19T10:38:00.006+02:002011-04-19T11:32:35.050+02:00Beware the nut factory<div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;">This really got to me:<br /><br /><br />I bought a pack of peri-peri cashews from a local supermarket yesterday and made the unfortunate mistake of reading the packaging. Here's what it said>>><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Nestled in the fertile valley of the Langeberg Mountains and refreshed by the waters of the Keisie and Kingna Rivers, lies the idyllic town of Montagu. It is here, in the this abundant green haven, that we've packed the tastiest dried fruits and nuts and brought them to you to enjoy time and again."</span><br /><br /><br />While reading that little story my imagination was taken on a journey through these amazing mountains, diving into cool clear mountain streams and... hay wait a sec, did they say <span style="font-weight: bold;">"It is here that... we've</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">packed </span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">the tastiest dried..."</span>???<br /><br /><br />I must investigate, why would they say 'packed' when they could use awesome words like harvested, plucked, nurtured... that single word threw me off. So I picked up the packet and examined it more carefully before I noticed the horrific truth. There in font size 2 next to the bar code at the bottom corner of the pack "PRODUCT OF TANZANIA / VIETNAM"!<br /><br /><br />AHAAAAAAAA!<br /><br /><br />Deceiving Bastards! You've described the idyllic and pristine location of your FACTORY. The depot in Montagu where all the trucks carrying imported goods (from third world, war stricken, human rights abuser, child labour driven countries...) which arrive for repackaging and distribution in South Africa! An even bigger slap in the face is the fact that they confess they are running an industrial operation in such a naturally beautiful "haven". Why not stick your factory in a designated area within a city? It's rather suspicious... I could go on, instead I suggest printing this label:<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Chugging smoke and pollutants into the fertile valley of the Langeberg Mountains and poisoning the fresh waters of the Keisie and Kingna Rivers, lies our Nut packaging factory. It is here, in the this abundant green haven, that we've decided to build our evil empire by importing the tastiest dried fruits and nuts and selling them to you at ridiculously high prices to fund our weapons of mass destruction project."</span><br /><br /><br />So there...<br /> <br /></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-63124780955558527152011-03-31T12:44:00.003+02:002011-03-31T12:47:49.431+02:00A pair of great tits<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Zi0p8Q2ZFjE/TZRbOOH9sCI/AAAAAAAAAdc/_a7OruuZe8A/s1600/Pair%2Bof%2BGreat%2BTits.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Zi0p8Q2ZFjE/TZRbOOH9sCI/AAAAAAAAAdc/_a7OruuZe8A/s400/Pair%2Bof%2BGreat%2BTits.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590193337341423650" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;">Parnus major</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">(You pervert...)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Photo:</span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://www.nundafoto.net/gallery/photo/479-mesange-charbonniere-parus-major">http://www.nundafoto.net/gallery/photo/479-mesange-charbonniere-parus-major</a></span>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-9223693489189041722011-03-25T21:58:00.003+02:002011-03-25T22:04:48.813+02:00So what’s the deal with donkey and dragon?<div style="text-align: justify;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> 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style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">I always thought the makers of Shrek went a step too far when they thought it would be a good idea for donkey to get it on with dragon. Reptiles and mammals, eggs and fur, massive and tiny no No NO that will never do. People say all babies are cute but the mutant spawn created by the pairing of a donkey and dragon are most definitely not. Every time I see them I find myself waiting for the scene to end. You may be thinking “Geez EEbEE take it easy, it’s just a fantasy movie getting some laughs. Give it a break!” after listening to my initial rant. Bear with me, there is a point to all of this…</p><p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ia5CCmS2-NY/TYz0LV_ZlXI/AAAAAAAAAc8/156ooB3nX14/s1600/Shrek-donkey-dragon-No.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 287px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ia5CCmS2-NY/TYz0LV_ZlXI/AAAAAAAAAc8/156ooB3nX14/s400/Shrek-donkey-dragon-No.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5588109713378743666" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: center;">Honestly!?<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"> </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">…and here it is!>>> I honestly think that some things should be left alone and not turned into a cheap love story. The good writers know when to stop; J.R.R. Tolkien for example, didn’t see a need for a Mrs Gollum! So many good stories/episodes/series have been utterly ruined by these canned bean romances.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">Harry Potter, I don’t care which girl Harry hooks up with and how they struggle to admit they love each other because they are young and innocent… just friggin point your wand at random shit and say funny made up words that make them spontaneously combust. Okay, that isn’t a riveting plot but it would sure as hell make for more interesting reading than Harry blushing and running away every time he sees a girl he likes!</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">The Big Bang Theory was the biggest let down. Here was a show that got laughs the clever way in season 1 and half of season 2. After that it just became a soapy about tactics nerds use to get laid. Currently I would estimate that around 95 percent of the humour is the same old “…that’s what she said” crap you can find on Hanging with Mr Cooper. They even found Sheldon Cooper a ‘girlfriend’! WTF! He was the only reason I still watched the show and now he too has a cheap, meaningless and humorless relationship with a secondary character.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">House and Cuddy should never have hooked up in the first place. The episodes they are together are too wet to be classified as part of the series. For the first time since the series began, Wilson was funnier than House! Save the background love story for Dr Chase (sp?) isn’t that what the guy is for?<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">(I could easily go on but each new example urges me to delete everything on my hard drive.) <span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">Seeing as I consider myself a fair guy, I will now dispense advice on how to rectify the cheap love story disease plaguing television of today (only assholes complain all the time without suggesting a solution).>>> I realise that writers are put under tremendous pressure to produce shows that are interesting, original, funny… and that after 15 episodes their imaginations are exhausted. Instead of turning towards the path of soppyness I implore them to watch some Japanese anime. There is something about those manga/anime dudes, they have the formula for a great show. Just the right proportions of humour, violence…romance to keep you glued to the show. I’m not one for soppy love stories (would you have guessed?) but anime has showed me that there is a time and a place for everything. Aweful, uninspired writers should get off their lazy arses and stop taking advantage of loyal fans. They should learn how to keep ratings up by providing good quality shows as opposed to milking inappropriate themes and getting away with it because walkover fans simply want to get their weekly fix of series X for routine sake. Screw that! <span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-34863233979805131922011-02-20T22:13:00.003+02:002011-02-20T22:23:39.841+02:00Supermarket Detective Agency<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-ZA</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">There I was, minding my own business in the local supermarket. I grabbed a trolley, you know, one of those miniature ones designed to carry baskets for lazy people who refuse to use basket handles… in any case I proceeded in my usual manner, making my way to household cleaners (before shelf food items and then finally fridge/freezer items… if you don’t do this you are weird, so there). I should mention that things were not going so well for me this day as I had accumulated quite a lot of common cold symptoms. To be more specific; groggy voice, coughing and sputtering, red droopy eyes and a snotty nose to top it all off (just keep that wonderful image of me in your mind for now).<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Back to the story, I had already placed an item or two into my trolley before I decided to make a quick trolley-less dash into a crowded isle to pick up some soap. I legged it through the masses of smelly obese ladies buying beauty products to the soap section hauled a couple bars of Protex into my arms and legged it back through the ambulating wall of lard. When I emerged (unscathed) I was greeted by an empty space where my trolley once stood.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">GONE!?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">What…? Where could it…? WHO TOOK IT!?<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">It had only been a few seconds, a half minute at the most. The rational thing to do would be to go back to the trolley section fetch another one, reselect taken items and get over it. Alas, my mind was not of a rational state at the time and my thoughts followed this path instead:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8qVVfZ_ckIA/TWF2ZLJs6HI/AAAAAAAAAc0/nzuEAjm-hbQ/s1600/my-trolley.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 283px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8qVVfZ_ckIA/TWF2ZLJs6HI/AAAAAAAAAc0/nzuEAjm-hbQ/s400/my-trolley.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575867988523673714" border="0" /></a></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">“The Bastard! I don’t want to have to get another trolley! Why should I? I distinctly remember putting a green basket at the top and a black one at the bottom, I can find this trolley snatcher and get my vehicle back! They can’t have gone very far and they will only have gathered a few items (if any) in the interim.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I scan my surrounding through red eyes (how about that one…) before:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">“There! Old lady pushing identical trolley with few items at 3 o’clock!”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t even think twice before walking up to her and asking her to return my trolley. I tried to sound friendly but my voice let me down and I ended up growling out a statement punctuated falsely by involuntary coughing.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">“So *cough-cough* You’re the *cough* lady who *sputter-cough* took my *swallow phlegm* trolley!” I said, trying to smile after her eyes greeted me with some confusion and a bit of fear I guess.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">“No.” says the old lady softly “I got mine from the front, but you can take one of my baskets. I’m checking out now”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I coughed my way though an apology before humbly (or at least as humble as a deranged coughing, snotty, psycho with a trolley fetish can possibly appear) accepting the offer and taking an unused basket from her. As I walked away, thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed, I spotted ANOTHER trolley that looked exactly like mine. Like an eagle fixing its gaze on potential prey from a distance, I locked onto to the trolleys driver (pusher?). An unattractive pudgy middle aged woman seemed a likely suspect for trolley theft as dastardly as had befallen me, especially so as she was wearing clothes that were at least 2-3 sizes too small for her (YUCK!). Only someone too lazy to carefully select proper clothes sizes so they can be comfortable would stoop so low as to steal someone else’s trolley to save a few measly seconds at the trolley stand!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I homed in on her and said “Hey! You took my *cough-cough* trolley, I was using that.” I was so sure! She looked at me, shook her head and said “No, I got this from the front”. Deflated, I apologized and decided to give up.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">So, so sure… she MUST have been lying. </span></p>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-70943407633245167542010-12-25T20:26:00.001+02:002010-12-25T20:30:30.371+02:00This chicken licken ad had me in stitches<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdhiQs29zgs">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdhiQs29zgs</a>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-73877112906953253482010-12-23T05:49:00.003+02:002010-12-23T05:53:15.837+02:00Life in the bundus<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-ZA</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> 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mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><span style=""><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">So I’ve moved back to my home town after 8 years of studying. I always knew I’d come back so I’m not THAT surprised. I love the country life. Sure, cities have their plus points (friends, services, convenient shopping…) but then there is also peak hour traffic which, I’ve noticed, extends noticeably into non-peak hours of late. I’d prefer Chinese bamboo torture over driving in bumper to bumper traffic behind a taxi covered in WWE wrestler stickers and blasting kwaito (music which is local, homegrown, ethnic and also utter trash!).</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">Country life <b style="">should be</b> chilled out. Wake up early go to bed early. Farmers in straw hats ferrying loads of cabbages to market in beat up old Toyotas. Fishing and fresh food. Home baked cookies and unsliced rusks. You get the idea, all rustic like… <span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><span style=""></span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">Where I live, things are a tad more exciting though. Just yesterday a gang of armed robbers held up a local shop. Police in the area actually coordinated a road block and nabbed the bastards in a surprisingly well oiled operation. Well, when I say ‘nabbed the bastards’ I really mean ‘chase them into the mielie fields and shoot them to pieces’. If I was a criminal I’d definitely decide to lay low if I lived hereabouts. In fact some of SA’s most hard core criminals come from around here. ATM bombings and mall robberies in Johannesburg (who robs the mall!?) have links to rural Kranskop. Not to mention old Jacob Zuma’s posse down the road in Nkandla (which has recently overtaken Dubai as the world’s fastest growing city in the middle of nowhere). <span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">Yes things do happen out here in the bundus. The best part of it all… NO TRAFFIC!</span></p>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-2893518643515582062010-11-24T16:40:00.005+02:002010-11-24T16:56:22.956+02:00New on supermarket shelves in SA<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TO0j_d_UDOI/AAAAAAAAAck/lZPajt01KUU/s1600/Smacks.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TO0j_d_UDOI/AAAAAAAAAck/lZPajt01KUU/s400/Smacks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543126289651862754" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I was in Pick 'n Pay today when I noticed this product on the shelves for the first time. Why did Kellogg's think it would be a good idea to name a breakfast cereal 'Smack' (unless said cereal contained a certain 'secret ingredient')! I mean honestly! do they think people will need their fix of smack in the mornings? Does the name guarantee a long term customer from a particular segment of buyers?<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm not so sure... The frog/lizard thing seems to be very excited about the whole deal though, suspiciously so in my opinion. Have you ever seen a cereal box character with as big a smile???<br /><br /><br /><br />Stay well away from this one friends, it gives me the heebee djeebeez</div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-29806127077238649232010-11-10T14:54:00.005+02:002010-11-10T15:30:52.607+02:00The most fun I had today<div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">Ever had one of those days where the most fun you've had was watching all the red bars on your de fragmenting hard drive turn blue?<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TNqW4iRlGiI/AAAAAAAAAcc/sG_j0fGglHQ/s1600/Defrag-screen.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 292px;" 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mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I'm having one of those days right now. I've been endlessly working on my theses, correct here, edit there, cut out here, paste there, type here, delete that, find references for this... AAARGH!!! It's so monotonous that I look forward to any break or possible escape from the hellish cycle. I found some relief staring at my defrag for around 5 minutes before realising how desperate I was and watching half an episode of Top Gear to regain some sort of sanity.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Writing up is far from easy, even if you have everything you need in front of you and all you need to do is assemble bits and pieces into one sensible paragraph. If I could just work my way around these mental blockades I could probably finish off the rest of my thesis in two days! Instead I have budgeted two weeks to complete the work.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Wish me luck fellow strugglers/stragglers<br /></span></p></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-3753449638405119222010-11-01T08:57:00.000+02:002010-11-01T09:27:02.866+02:00People I fail to get along with<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TM5l8tkXkPI/AAAAAAAAAcU/T13CqDWRCb0/s1600/Assholes-POV.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TM5l8tkXkPI/AAAAAAAAAcU/T13CqDWRCb0/s400/Assholes-POV.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534473085783609586" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I've met so many people who think like this. I usually pick it up after one or two in depth conversations. These people probably never perceive themselves in this way. It's a sad life in which the closest friend they can keep is their own reflection in the mirror. This however, doesn't seem to bother them in the least...<br /><br />If, perchance, I too fall under this category please tell me so I can perform brain surgery on myself crossing fingers that I will lop off the right portion and become a worthy human being again.<br /><br />In case you were wondering, this is just a general post aimed at finding out if I am (have become) what I hate. If you think you know who I am leave an honest comment (I can take it !!! *crushes an empty appletiser can onto his forehead*) </span><br /></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-80109513194774994312010-10-20T15:57:00.004+02:002010-10-20T16:05:25.150+02:00Proof that Facebook Marketplace is bollocks<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TL71uP5DuVI/AAAAAAAAAcA/XzRtLUPR1h4/s1600/Facebook-Marketplace.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 132px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TL71uP5DuVI/AAAAAAAAAcA/XzRtLUPR1h4/s400/Facebook-Marketplace.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530127567346186578" border="0" /></a><br />Click to enlargeEEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-84153325365894736002010-09-23T11:51:00.004+02:002010-09-23T12:03:34.536+02:00Bad case of mistaken identity<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I hate it when people get offended for no reason</span> <span style="font-family: arial;">(I can't seem to get this image to show properly. Click to enlarge)</span><br /></div><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJsloLdybjI/AAAAAAAAAbo/WdQ_WGiq4Xk/s1600/Mistaken-identity.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 164px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJsloLdybjI/AAAAAAAAAbo/WdQ_WGiq4Xk/s400/Mistaken-identity.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5520047140475399730" border="0" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJsjpmW_dRI/AAAAAAAAAbg/D7CwcsQpcT8/s1600/Mistaken-identity.jpg"><br /></a>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-83164967008644499912010-09-22T12:44:00.004+02:002010-09-22T13:35:29.764+02:00How to solve the rhino horn saga<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It being Rhino Day and all...<br /><br />You think you are living in a modern world, a world where people are finally beginning to understand the way things work. Using science, logic and technological advances to solve problems is the norm.<br /><br />No it isn't.<br /><br />Some crazy backward bastards go and ruin everything by believing that a rhinos horn has medicinal value! According to 16th century pharmacists (yes, 16th century!!!) the magical horn is said to treat fever, rheumatism, gout, snake bites, hallucinations, typhoid, headaches, carbuncles, vomiting, food poisoning, libido, being possessed by the devil... but rhino horn does none of these things. These people may as well treat their condition by eating their own hair and nail clippings. Heck they may as well drink a glass of water, it's far more useful medicinally.<br /><br />Thereafter, a group of even crazier money hungry sods go and harvest horns from live animals to meet the demand. A win win situation? I think not! Armed with aforementioned technological advances, poachers have become devastatingly efficient at harvesting horns. Rhino numbers are declining and so on and so forth...<br /><br />THE SOLUTION<br /><br />Okay it's pretty easy and I can't imagine why it hasn't been tried yet. You see the horn has tremendous value, it must have if poachers are able to form well organised armed teams in helicopters (!!!) to harvest a few (dozen maybe) horns a month at the most. Horns are also very scarce which drives their value up, this is logical. So what if...(let me put this into perspective)... what if authorities were to flood the market with fake rhino horn. If it is traditionally dispensed in a powder form simply drown the black market in fake product (it'll be just as effective, medicinally, as the real stuff).<br /></span><ol><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Brainless customers will be happy because they could get their product cheaply.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Poachers would stop hacking rhinos to bits because selling chickens wings on the black market would be far more profitable</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Rhino extinction probabilities would be reduced significantly</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Hippies would stop their endless moaning on the subject (they'd find something else but we can be happy in between complaints)<br /></span></li></ol><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-76426361792392962812010-09-20T11:53:00.004+02:002010-09-20T12:06:15.505+02:00Oh my God she is stupider than I ever imagined!<div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJcvzyRaw6I/AAAAAAAAAbQ/SZhdkCrm3lg/s1600/lady-gaga-in+the+meat+dress.jpg"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-ZA</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> 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</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> </a></div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I saw something strange on Google news this morning, let me share.</span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><span style=""> </span>Below is a picture of some meat. Okay the meat is sort of arranged in a manner that represents an item of clothing. A form of protest perhaps? Animal rights groups bringing awareness to the plight of animal lives we, as humans, so shamelessly exploit. </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> <br /><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJcwiWdlsxI/AAAAAAAAAbY/tGkr8hM762I/s1600/Gaga+meat+dress.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 350px; height: 350px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TJcwiWdlsxI/AAAAAAAAAbY/tGkr8hM762I/s400/Gaga+meat+dress.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518933235069203218" border="0" /></a><br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-ZA</w:LidThemeOther> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Yup you guessed it. Lady GAGA!!! </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">How the hell can she wear something like THAT (look at the hat and boots… *sigh*) and STILL walk around looking smug with that ‘I’m so original and popular’ look on her face!? She defended the meat dress by saying </span>"<span style="font-weight: bold;">If we don't stand up for what we believe in, if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as many rights as the meat on our bones</span>" (<i style="">I interpret that as “I’m fighting for my right to be a crazy woman, if sane people have rights so should us crazy lot. VIVA CRAZY VIVA, PHANSI SANITY PHANSI!”</i>). Remember, this is the same woman that said she refused to have sex because her creative juices would be sucked out of her vagina!</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"> </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Gaga went on to saying something along the lines of “<span style="font-weight: bold;">It’s the same as wearing leather</span>…” (a<span style="font-style: italic;">nd I say</span> “<i style="">Listen Gaga, it just isn’t… you’re a complete nutter”</i>)<span style="" lang="EN-US"></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> <br /><br /></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-775976104971071512010-08-25T14:49:00.003+02:002010-08-25T14:54:54.123+02:00Do you use lotion? Read on if you do...<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEEbEE%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1762986528; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:1445654910 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:39.2pt; mso-level-number-position:left; margin-left:39.2pt; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style=""></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">So there I am, minding my own business typing at the pc. I get a bit uneasy after a while and adjust my seating position to find a new comfort zone. Suddenly it strikes, an itch attack of a magnitude only achieved on the driest of winter days. It feels as though a hundred fleas materialize onto each of my forearms and simultaneously feast off my cells. </p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Emergency lights and alarms go off in my head. It is time for me to dig out the lotion and apply it as a last resort. This bottle has lasted me 3 years and is still pretty much full. Guys don’t use lotion unless their arms are about to fall off you see. We’d sooner scratch our legs till we bleed (Done this before guys, haven’t you?) than simply squeeze out some lotion from a tube and painlessly massage the itching away within seconds. If you’re a guy and you haven’t done any of these things you are either a mommy’s boy or a homo. So there…</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">There is a point to all this rambling. You see after applying the lotion to get rid of 200+ fleas on my arms I started wondering about the contents of said lotion and how those work to eliminate itching and dry skin. So I take a gander at the ingredients on the label.
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Cucumber</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Aloe vera</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Honey</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Buttermilk</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Mint</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 39.2pt; text-indent: -0.25in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">·<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Palm oils…</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">…the list went on and on naming these ingredients, which would probably make a good light meal on their own, each sounding more soothing and cool than the previous. After the list of recognizable ingredients came a bunch of chemicals, and this is where the average person would stop reading. No, not me, I had started reading and wanted to get to the very end of the list of ingredients. So I tried (in vain) to recall some of my first year chemistry as I slowly pronounced the names of each compound. That’s when I spotted it! There! Between Dihetrasulphoxychlorisomthing and Hydramethdoodyvonphospholux… </p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">It said very quietly in Arial font, size 0.5<span style="">
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<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style=""></span>Urea</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;">UREA!!!!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">WTF!!!???</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Those bleddy, dishonest, deceptive, backstabbing, lairs! I’ve been lathering myself up in urea whenever I get all itchylike. That’s just not cool. Laxatives in chewing gum is alright, but urine in lotion crosses the line! I wish people were honest about their products. Sure you wouldn’t sell much lotion if you call it “Cool Aloe, Cucumber and Urine” flavour but that’s not the point! You need to exclude mixing in random excreta with your products!
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Why, oh why, do you have Urea as an ingredient in any case? Is it some sort of joke? Do employees just relieve themselves in the mixing vats to have a laugh? Who was the guy that decided it would be easier to just make urea an ingredient as opposed to firing the employees involved in taking a dump in the lotion?
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I WANT ANSWERS DAMN IT! <span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-37917233766883348042010-08-23T14:34:00.007+02:002010-08-23T14:52:14.981+02:00Oily disastrous death of DOOM!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gqcRZCkzGyU/TBFDMZnuDkI/AAAAAAAADb8/UTFplQltgEA/s1600/GulfofMexicoLG.jpg">
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<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEEbEE%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">So I’ve been keeping half an eye out on the <st1:place st="on">Gulf of Mexico</st1:place> oil spill news. In fact, ‘oil spill’ is putting it lightly. It’s the single largest environmentally destructive man made force EVER! Surprising then that the worldwide media has sidelined the whole affair in favour of Lindsay Lohan’s jail sentence for violating parole… or some such rot. I don’t care if some juvenile lesbo has to spend TWO WHOLE WEEKS in jail for being an idiot. The only time ‘Li-Lo’ deserves to be put in the papers ahead of an environmental disaster of this magnitude is if they found… a cure for HIV AIDS made from a paste constructed primarily of her dried crushed bones, organs and brain matter. </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m drifting…</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">In any case I thought I would summarise the whole oil spill and the way it was managed by those clever guys at the ‘BP science, engineering and brainyness’ division. Why, you ask? It’s just that I found looking at individual pieces and media reports gave a somewhat hazy and incomplete picture. Putting all those bits together will help us average people understand the steps BP have taken to ensure nothing but the best (or least worst) results from this whole ordeal.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">April 20 2010</span>: Blowout preventer on an oil rig in the <st1:place st="on">Gulf of Mexico</st1:place> fails resulting in… a blowout>>></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">BP Engineer 1 “Hey Chuck, one of our deep sea rigs had a blow out in the <st1:place st="on">Gulf of Mexico</st1:place>.” BP Engineer 2 “Erm, yeah we shoulda realised something would happen after Jay took apart the old blowout preventer for a valve he needed to fix his mom’s Studebaker.” BP Engineer 1 “So what are we going to do about mate?” BP Engineer 2 “This needs some thought… I’ll get back to you”</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">7 May 2010: </span>Oil leaks out at a rate of approximately 60000 barrels a day for 17 days before>>></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">BP Engineer 1 “Hey Chuck, we could lower a huge box over the leak.” BP Engineer 2 “That’s a great idea Dave, that way we can minimize our losses by harvesting and selling the spilled oil!” BP Engineer 1 “What about the excess oil that leaks into the ocean?” BP Engineer 2 “Meh, it has to go somewhere…”</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">9 May 2010</span>: The box-funnel idea failed and eco-warriors put pressure on BP Engineers to come up with environmentally friendly solutions>>>
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<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">BP Engineer 1 “Hey Chuck, maybe the oil will stop spilling out if we shovel dirt into the hole” BP Engineer 2 “Hey, yeah Dave, I recon that will work. When I was I kid we used to hide stuff by shoveling dirt onto it…” BP Engineer 1 “Heck and getting rid of dirt is environmentally friendly too, EVERYBODY wins!”</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">11 May 2010</span>: After failing to stop the leak (which has since grown to a maximum of 800000 liters a day) by dropping sand bags filled with dirt, golf balls and bits of old tire onto it (!!!) BP engineers need to find another new solution>>></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">BP Engineer 1 “Say Chuck, what if we were to use a big old submarine to go down there and plug the leak?” BP Engineer 2 “You is genius Dave! But what to plug the leak with?” BP Engineer 1 “…Concrete?” BP Engineer 2 “Doesn’t that need air to dry and cure?” BP Engineer 1 “Heck no, how do you think they build them bridges in rivers…”</span>
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">10 July 2010:</span> Shoving concrete into the leak fails. The oil spill, now visible from outer space, destroys all life in its path. BP Engineers finally come up with a solution>>></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/THJs8EwCCwI/AAAAAAAAAas/QhwwfKssfRE/s1600/Oil+slick+GoM+advanced.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 286px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/THJs8EwCCwI/AAAAAAAAAas/QhwwfKssfRE/s400/Oil+slick+GoM+advanced.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5508585073550691074" border="0" /></a></o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">BP Engineer 1 “So Chuck I noticed this morning that the water in my bath was prevented from escaping using a solid plug like device to cover the outlet hole.” BP Engineer 2 “What exactly are you trying to say Dave?” BP Engineer 1 “Well, if a plug can stop water from going down a drain surely we could use a similar device to stop oil gushing up from a hole” BP Engineer 2 “Hmm, a radical idea Dave. We would have to reverse engineer this ‘plug’ device to function the other way around but it sounds crazy enough to work.”</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">15 July 2010:</span> The main sources of the oil spill are finally stopped after BP engineers effectively shove a plug into to hole really REALLY hard! A permanent solution to the oil spill has YET to be found but is expected to be in place by September. In the mean time the CEO of British Petroleum maintains that the amount of oil that has spilled into the <st1:place st="on">Gulf of Mexico</st1:place> is a tiny tiny tiny amount relative to all the water in all the oceans on the planet Earth.</span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Phew! Thank goodness for that…
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">(Image http://3.bp.blogspot.com)
<br /></span></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-15167715509328298352010-08-12T22:18:00.002+02:002010-08-12T22:24:58.019+02:00Rant about headlines<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEBRAHI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEBRAHI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link style="font-family: arial;" rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEBRAHI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> 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mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">
<br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I’m really surprised at the shocking headlines I’ve seen recently in the news. Either desperate measures used by journalists to attract the attention of stupid people or stupid journalist not thinking about what they write while they are going about their business…</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Let me explain:</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Earlier this week there was a news headline with the following
<br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">
<br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">“Corpses left to rot underground!”</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I mean REALLY, do they honestly expect us to react something along these lines “How horrific! How could someone possibly have stooped so low as to leave corpses to ROT! UNDERGROUND!??? That evil son-of-a-femaledog. I hope he/she burns in hell for carrying out such an inhuman act. IN HELL!!!” Give the people some credit I say. How odd would it be if we didn’t leave corpses to rot underground… “Look honey, the neighbours dog died, judging from the smell and maggots it must have kicked the bucket around 3 weeks ago. I really wish he’d scooped it up and left it at the corpse pile on the corner of 5<sup>th</sup> and Cathcart.”</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Nay, the person that originally thought of burying corpses was a genius… a headline like that should be followed by picture of a man with a spade standing triumphantly at the side of newly covered grave.
<br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">The next headline was quite recent news on the radio (today if I’m not mistaken) “Miners shot by security guards after found digging for gold”. That’s a raw deal in my opinion, the last time I checked digging for gold was part of the job description. Were they innocently working before some trigger happy guard came along and shot them to pieces or were they hiding nuggets up their asses?
<br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">A few weeks back there was even a report of a Boeing 767 crash landing at Harare International Airport. The world looked on in panic as people started pointing fingers and checking flight details of family members… all until we read the full report (a day later) detailing a 767 crash-land TRAINING EXERCISE! <span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">These sorts of things can so easily be taken the wrong way. If it’s all about getting people talking and making a fuss over stuff that ends up being really trivial, I don’t think it’s worth it at all. In my opinion, if ones story is boring, being vague and lying about it to be popular is rather juvenile. People that write news reports in this manner should be forced to swallow broken lightbulbs.</span></span></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">So there… <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-38787700566269016892010-07-16T17:13:00.004+02:002010-07-16T17:25:46.076+02:00Stop abusing Mandela!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TEB5UVOVTNI/AAAAAAAAAaA/EL5dDNmSe0g/s1600/Nelson_Mandela.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 303px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TEB5UVOVTNI/AAAAAAAAAaA/EL5dDNmSe0g/s400/Nelson_Mandela.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494524935593610450" border="0" /></a>
<br />How could one stoop so low as to insult this man!
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<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>I gave up listening to the radio a few years ago. Things were getting pretty bad and I couldn’t take it any more:</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><ol style="margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" start="1" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal">All the good DJ’s were being canned and replaced with nauseating teens (or adults with teen temperament)</li><li class="MsoNormal">Advertisements ruled the air. I’m sure 90% of the time between rambling-nutter teenage DJ’s was just a swarm of insurance, Coca-cola and CTM tile ad’s.</li><li class="MsoNormal">The other 10% of the time was filled with the monotonous banshee like droning of Rihanna, Beyonce, Shakira, Natasha Beddingfield…</li></ol>
<br />
<br /><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I was quite content listing to my own CD collection and MP3 compilations for a while after I left radio. Then one day I got bored of music and turned on the radio to look for something with which I could drown out the tyre roar from my Corsa on long distance trips. I found SAfm, talk radio. Awesome stuff (apart from the daily soap and Sunday preaching) minimal adverts (the occasional reminder to pay your TV license) and an occasion track from a local band (outdated yes, but familiar and enjoyable most of the time).</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I was really pleased with my new FM companion till Nelson Mandela day started encroaching on us. For those unfamiliar with the event:</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style="">“Mandela Day is a call to action for people everywhere to take responsibility for making the world a better place, one small step at a time, just as Nelson Mandela did. <o:p></o:p></b></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style="">
<br /></b></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style="">Nelson Mandela spent more than 67 years serving his community, his country, and the world at large. On Mandela Day people are called to devote just 67 minutes of their time to changing the world for the better…”<o:p></o:p></b></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><o:p>
<br /></o:p></b></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">Sure I have no beef with the principles behind Mandela day, It’s a great way to get people to be helpful and blah blah blah… There is one thing that did get to me though. Quite a few companies have seen this as yet another opportunity to take advantage of good natured people by using Mandela in their advertisements. I call these deceitful ad’ campaigns Black Mandela Ops (or BMO’s).</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">For example</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A normal CTM tile advert:</span> “Come to CTM for high quality imported tiles at low low prices. CTM More than you expect for less than you think!”</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A BMO’ed CTM tile advert:</span> “2 million children DIED from cold last year because of poorly insulated homes. We at CTM will donate one tile to these children for every 100 tiles that YOU buy to make a difference to their lives. CTM, we care about children, just like Nelson Mandela does. DO YOU?</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Example number 2</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A normal KFC advert:</span> “The Colonel made sure he always used the finest secret spices and chickens to make KFC. We carry on that tradition with our new rounder burger with a hexagonal bun! KFC, it’s Fickin’ Good.”</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A BMO’ed KFC advert:</span> “Nelson Mandela reared chickens when he was a boy growing up in the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Transkei</st1:place></st1:country-region>. He loved those chickens, they provided eggs and nuggets on the cold winter days when he and his dear old mum were hungry. In fact if it weren’t for chickens Nelson Mandela might have starved to death as a young boy. Imagine a world without Nelson Mandela! We at KFC would HATE to live in THAT world. Thankfully we provide chicken to prevent such a catastrophe from ever happening again in the future. Buy KFC, do it for Madiba.”</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">Even the Blood donor notices have been BMO’ed: “…Donate blood, or Nelson Mandela will hate you…”</p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">I can’t stand it! Even talk radio has been infiltrated by Black Mandela Ops. The whole 67 minutes thing… I bet there is some red eyed profit monger behind the entire ordeal. People should be nice to other (deserving) people all the time. Not just for 67 minutes for one day every year! I hate that Mandela’s good name is being used for promoting all this rubbish. People have lost the plot!</p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-45303438763254243622010-07-15T15:01:00.004+02:002010-07-15T15:18:39.874+02:00Oh NO! Facebook Spam!<div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Today I got this message from Jessica (Who the heck are you woman!!!???) Marie on facebook.</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Quote</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">____________________________________________________</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Subject: heyy :)</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /><o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">hey, im jessica and my friend jenny and I were just browsing profiles and we found yours.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">we liked what we saw ;) </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">you should add us on yahoo so we can all chat, the sn is <a href="mailto:Blahblahblah@yahoo.com">Blahblahblah@yahoo.com</a></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /><o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="border-style: none none solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color windowtext; border-width: medium medium 1.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 1pt; font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="border: medium none ; padding: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Unquote</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Okay, so from what I gather these girls like browsing through facebook profiles till they find one that they fancy. They then proceed to PM you and try get you to join their silly flirt chat room or something.<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Seeing as this is my profile picture!!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TD8Iosk54SI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/1q9TGd3omYI/s1600/EEbEE+as+a+simpsons+character.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 180px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TD8Iosk54SI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/1q9TGd3omYI/s400/EEbEE+as+a+simpsons+character.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494119565669032226" border="0" /></a></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">I can only come to the conclusion that:</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">A – I’m being stalked by a Simpsons character (one that likes bearded fat bald men!) </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">or</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">B – Facebook is now a haven for Spammers!</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">AAARGH I HATE SPAM!!!</p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">and another thing! Are there REALLY guys out there that want to 'permanently increase the length and girth' of their penis 'forever'? If so will they trust a man named <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sultan Happy</span> to carry out the procedure!!!??? STOP SPAMMING! NOBODY CARES!!!<br /></p>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-91793266413247233792010-07-07T15:25:00.003+02:002010-07-07T15:30:51.997+02:00Good news everyone!<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />It isn’t everyday that one’s favorite TV show goes back on the air a few years after it was cancelled (in fact I’m pretty sure that has never happened to me before). Pleasantly surprised was I when I found out that Futurama has been given another chance! Yes mortals, ‘Planet Express’ delivery service has been re-issued with a license to fly in Futurama season 6.</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TDSBDEoiHsI/AAAAAAAAAZw/RBoxULQjeJ8/s1600/Dr-Zoidberg-futurama-3153922-1024-768.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/TDSBDEoiHsI/AAAAAAAAAZw/RBoxULQjeJ8/s400/Dr-Zoidberg-futurama-3153922-1024-768.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491155735454817986" border="0" /></a><br />"With my last words I curse ZOIDBERG!" Prof. Hubert Farnsworth<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The more fanatical of you (but not fanatical enough) will be asking about season 5? Where did it go? Did we all miss it? Was it skipped? No! In fact season 5 was never aired in South Africa (and our 56k internet wouldn’t hear of us downloading such insanely large 100mb+ files! I mean imagine the length of the phone call!!!). No, season 5 was actually made up of four Futurama movies which Fox decided to hack into 20 minute episodes and label ‘season 5’. Season 6 picks up where the last of the movies ends off.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">For those unfamiliar with Futurama: </span> <span style="font-family:arial;">It’s the year 3000 in the city of New New York, we find ourselves here after Fry, a pizza delivery boy, got mistakenly cryogenically frozen while delivering a pizza to one Mr. I.C. Wiener on New Year’s Eve 1999. Fry thaws and begins his new life in the future. Space travel, Aliens, Lasers, hover-thingys and celebrity heads preserved in jars ensue in this Simpson style parody of pretty much every science fiction plot out there. In short, this show is by nerds and geeks, for geeks and nerds; a triumphant series by Matt Groening and the brilliant David X. Cohen.<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm Soo EXCITED!</span><br /></div>EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-67466976186119499102010-05-25T00:41:00.005+02:002010-05-25T00:50:49.598+02:00That's just stupid! 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mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">I have the ‘How to…?’ page enabled on iGoogle. It basically puts up 3 random ‘how to’ questions and if you are interested you click the link and learn something new (hopefully)… you get the picture.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">I would estimate that 30% of the ‘how to’ topics are worth reading, 69% are pretty uninspiring and 1% are utter trash. Today for example, one of the topics was ‘How to win an eating contest?’</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">I can answer that in three words “Eat the most.” So I was curious to see if there really was more…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US">This is the unaltered first paragraph of the article <i style="">(with my personal views in brackets)</i>:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Be in good physical and mental shape</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">. It is important to ensure that you're healthy and fit before trying an eating contest <i style=""><span style="">(Being a lard ass will probably also help…)</span></i>. Consult your physician before the contest and get their advice <i style="">(they will advise you NOT to enter a stupid eating contest…)</i>. Make sure that you aren't on medication that shouldn't be taken with food <i style="">(wow… someone actually did that!)</i>. Check with contest officials that EMTs and an ambulance will be present in the event of choking or allergic reactions <i style="">(because you thought it would be a good idea to shove 70 hotdogs into a space designed to fit 2 hot dogs… and still somehow forgot that you were allergic to hotdogs!!!???)</i>, or third-degree burns on the roof of your mouth from searing hot taco beef <i style="">(<b style="">Contestant</b>>>>“Hi honey I’m home, sorry I can’t kiss you today, I have third degree burns on my palate from eating too much searing hot taco beef”… “no, I did it on purpose, I thought that because they had a medical team and ambulance on site I would be immune to the effects of scoffing 180degC food. Boy was I wrong.” <b style="">Spouse</b>>>>”I want a divorce”)</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I think we can safely file this ‘how to?’ topic under the ‘utter trash’ category. Anyone with half a brain would know that eating contests are stupid and people that enter them are stupider. It just gets worse and worse. I couldn’t believe what I was reading, so I read on (Does this happen to anyone else?) only to find out that people interested in eating competitions can join the MLE (Major League Eating) or the AICE (Association of Independent Competitive Eaters). They’re turning eating into a sport!
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Sigh…<o:p></o:p></span></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-2078084729600679872010-05-06T10:29:00.005+02:002010-05-06T10:42:08.265+02:00We have finally run out of words<div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEBRAHI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" 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mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">I was cooking up something in the kitchen the other day while listening to background MTV. Well to be honest, someone else was watching MTV while I was cooking. The reason I don’t want to say that I was listening to MTV is because these days it’s quite an embarrassing place to be caught channel surfing. Think about it, most of the music is complete and utter rubbish. Advertisements make up around 50% of the broadcast content (you know the channel content is bad when you actually look forward to the advertisements… like SABC). <span style=""> </span>As for moral values… well you can throw those out the window what with Beyonce constantly filling the screen with her… junk. I’m drifting; the point of this post is modern pop music.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Back to the kitchen...</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">There I was, innocently cooking a meal when I heard this terrible groaning noise accompanied by loads of uncoordinated bass tracks (seemingly put together by a ravenous three year old slamming his fists onto a jelly tot encrusted keyboard hooked up to cheap electro composing software…or Justin Timberland). I HAD to investigate, so I bravely left my meal prep to sneak a peek at the screen. Who could possibly make such an awful din (only worthy of an MTV line up)?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Well, the answer believe it or not, was Janet Jackson. I thought the groaning was perhaps a form of tribute to her late brother, you know, a sorrowful and mourning sister expressing her grief through the medium of agonizing vocals… I peeked for a few seconds longer to try making sense of the whole thing from the music video. <o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">This was a very bad idea.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Mine eyes were greeted by a pair of bodies writhing against a wall. One Janet Jackson, the other, some scantily clad sweaty black dude…and no they weren’t mourning. This ‘music video’ was actually just a sex scene and the lyrics to the ‘song’ were basically Janet having an orgasm for four and a half minutes. What was the reason for this? All I could do was assume that the music industry had finally written and made several cover versions of every possible combination of words and lyrics for commercial gain. The options currently available to song writers at the moment:</span></p> <p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -18pt; text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="" lang="EN-US"><span style="">1.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;font-size:7pt;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="" lang="EN-US">Make up words (Rihanna and Nelly Furtado have taken this path)<o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -18pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="" lang="EN-US"><span style="">2.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;font-size:7pt;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="" lang="EN-US">Distort existing words so much that peoplebarely recognise them (Shakira and Lady Gaga seem to have this method down)<o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -18pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="" lang="EN-US"><span style="">3.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;font-size:7pt;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="" lang="EN-US">Just make random noises with your vocal chords to accompany music (Janet Jackson, above)<o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -18pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="" lang="EN-US"><span style="">4.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;font-size:7pt;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="" lang="EN-US">Distract viewers so much with raunchy music videos they won’t even realise your lyrics and music are complete shite (Pussycat Dolls and Madonna… just make me want to barf, it’s a miracle these tracks even get aired on the radio)</span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -18pt; text-align: justify;font-family:arial;">
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<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">It seems as though song writers around the world have been hit by this phenomenon. There are no current tracks that appeal to me. None, nada, zilch… gone are the days of meaningful, emotive and moral music. A small part of me died as I copy/pasted the final track from my ‘New Music’ folder into the ‘Oldies’ folder.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/S-J_pvYtezI/AAAAAAAAATw/jPW_wZTIKXM/s1600/Grave+stone.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 272px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/S-J_pvYtezI/AAAAAAAAATw/jPW_wZTIKXM/s400/Grave+stone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468073252652677938" border="0" /></a></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I think 'American Pie' would be an apt song to describe days like this (by Don McLean not Madonna's treacherous cover version)
<br /><span style="" lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691991806971942791.post-17640772599004438192010-05-05T11:51:00.003+02:002010-05-05T11:58:42.331+02:00The art of presentation, Japanese PechaKucha
<br /><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CEEbEE%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I have recently been exposed to a new form of speed presentation. PechaKucha is a Japanese presentation method wherein the presenter assembles a collection of 20 pictures to accompany a talk on… well any particular subject of interest (<a href="http://www.pecha-kucha.org/">http://www.pecha-kucha.org/</a>). The presenter is limited to 20 seconds per picture/slide and so concludes the presentation after... (Math YAY!)… 6 mins and 40 seconds (or at least about that long).</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">So I downloaded and viewed a random example to see what it was all about. Unfortunately the topic was on safety and structural integrity of modern ‘fancy’ architecture (not something I care a great deal about). The presenter droned on for 6 odd minutes about how important the designers job is and how so many lives depend on the success of his/hers structure… boring shite okay…</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/S-FAKSP0pTI/AAAAAAAAATo/AZp0Xs9387g/s1600/presentation.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 324px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eZ-4-3X1XUs/S-FAKSP0pTI/AAAAAAAAATo/AZp0Xs9387g/s400/presentation.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467721968045565234" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">The amazing thing about all this though is that I remember everything he said, my brain made the links between those pictures and the words he said so easily that I could probably give his exact talk after viewing his presentation just once. It normally takes me all of 30 seconds to blank out and start thinking about dinner when someone is giving a talk that I am not remotely interested in.
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<br /></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">I guess what I’m saying is, PechaKucha is an amazingly effective form of speed presentation. It’s like force-feeding geese to enlarge their livers for extra profit, except the feed is information and the enlarged liver is your mind! …did that make sense just now?</p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Image (www.toothpastefordinner.com)
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<br /></p> EEbEEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13446413934508774769noreply@blogger.com0