I REALLY enjoy my cartoons. Loads of people say it’s just a phase that kids grow out of eventually. In fact, I enjoyed my cartoons so much as a kid that I never bothered growing out of them. I still love watching Tom and Jerry trying to kill each other. I really dig Dr Doofenschmirtz and his random machines ending in ‘–inator’, designed to overthrow mankind. I will happily admit to having seen every episode of the Flintsones, Jetsons, Scooby-doo, wacky races and even the short lived ‘Flintstones meet the Jetsons’ series…
As much as I love my cartoons, I have to admit that occasionally one pops up that I absolutely despise. Included on this list are: Skunk fu, Dragon ball Z, Snagglepuss and Top cat to name a few. Have you ever thought “Wow I could totally improve this shite cartoon if they ever gave me a chance…” Well I decided to take it one step further and create my very own episode to prove that given the right storyline; even a crappy cartoon show can be entertaining.
>>>So it begins<<<
The Powerpuff girls
Episode E1: Fuzzy Lumbkins and quest for immortality.
Another fine day dawns on the city of Townsville… but wait, lurking in the hills is a sinister creature plotting some evil plan. Who could it be? It is none other than Fuzzy Lumbkins the pink furred, red necked, racist (who for some reason has pompoms on his head).
Fuzzy strums his banjo while sitting on an old wooden rocking chair when he comes up with one of his brightest ideas yet. “I get interest from the money I put in the bank. Now if I wait long enough, that interest will accumulate and make me rich. All I need is time… wait a second, if I kill and eat the powerpuff girls, I could become immortal! All I would have to do is wait for the riches to accumulate. YEEE’HAW! I’m going to do it”.
He sets off by building a sealed Carbon Dioxide chamber and placing a three select items within this chamber. The first is a cute little bunny, the second is a custom chopper motorcycle he steals off the street and the last is the mayors precious pickle jar. He then gets a face mask and oxygen supply which he carefully straps to his back for quick and easy access.
Fuzzy waits, the only company he has are his banjo and a large bottle of mampoer…
RING RING RING! It’s the powerpuff hotline
Mayor “Girls! Fuzzy Lumbkins has stolen my pickles! Get them back!!!”. Blossom “We’re on it Mayor”.
Dum dum da dada daa daa,
Dum dum da dada daaaaa...
Blossom “It looks like fuzzy has kept the pickles in that building… let’s get them beat the crap out of him and get back to playing with our toys”
Bubbles “EEEk! He also has a bunny imprisoned in there, I can hear it calling for help!”
Buttercup “Screw this, I’m going home. You guys can handle this without m… wait, is that a chopper? Son of a Bitch, he needs a good thrashing for stealing that bike! Let’s get him girls!”
The girls fly into the chamber where fuzzy sits and smiles at them before pulling a lever to seal the chamber and putting on an oxygen mask. A hissing sound immediately fills their ears before:
Bubbles “Soo sleepy…”
Blossom “Hey! whats… going… on…”
Buttercup “WTF…”
The girls lay motionless on the floor. The deed has been done…
It is now dark, the people of Townsville sleep, unaware of the fate of their beloved heroes. Fuzzy drags their bodies outside, rips off his mask and begins feasting on the raw flesh of the girls. The sound of bones snapping under the pressure from his jaws brings a strange sense of satisfaction over him. Being fairly petite, he eats all three girls in one sitting without even stopping for a drink.
Shrluurrp, Moosh moosh Squitch…. Gulp!
“Hahahahahaaaaahahaha”
“I am IMMORTAL!!!!”
Fuzzy runs to the bank, deposits 12 dollars and returns to a cave on the hills. He seals the entrance with a large rock before falling asleep for what would be a 70 year slumber.
Meanwhile back in Townsville professor Utonium has grown suspicious of the growing silence emanating from the girls room. “They should have been back by now” he thinks. “Oh well, I’m sure they will be back in the morning”.
48 hours later
“SOBS, Why!? Why did I send my little girls away to risk their lives and fight crime!? They were just children! WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?” The sight of a grown man lying, on the floor, in a puddle of what I hope are his tears is sad indeed.
“I’m so alone…”
“And so, the day is saved thanks to fuzzy Lumbkins. Without him we’d have to watch yet another episode of those freakish, and totally not screen-worthy, powerpuff girls.”
“The Powerpuff girls will be replaced with brand new episodes of Chowder from tomorrow. Stay tuned for some real entertainment fresh out of Marzipan city!”
Next up, EEbEE tries his hand at writing an episode of Hanna Montana.
2 comments:
You rock! I loved it! Although I'm slightly worried at just how well you know the powerpuff girls...
thanks!
i particularly like the sound effects of Fuzzy eating the bodies...(fyi 'squitch!' was an eyeball)
In my defense, you HAVE to watch a cartoon before you decide not to like it...(and it took a few episodes for me to really get annoyed with the powerpuff girl episode formula).
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