The Maddish Scientist: Prologue to EEbEE's arbitrary interviews

It’s 1:15am on a dark stormy night. The entire town is asleep or at least hiding under the sheets. Only one soul stirs, a young bald man in his mid twenties. He dons a frayed and tattered lab-coat. What is this man up to? Why is he up so late? Why has he chosen the tallest, darkest, most isolated tower of the old Kasteel to conduct his late night affairs?

This scene is so stereotypical. Surely this individual is a mad scientist (or maddish at least) working on some crazy and despicable invention. Something everyone wants to know about, it has a 95% chance of being pure EVIL! Hopefully we will be enlightened before the end of this post. Hopefully we will not have to pursue the maddish scientist through the streets with pitchforks…

Lightning crashes in the distance. A flash through the window gives a brief look at what the maddish scientist is doing. A concoction is carefully being brewed over a Bunsen burner. Ingredients lay strewn across the old pock-marked and chemically eroded wooden table. The only easily identifiable objects on the table are a half eaten Niki bar ® and a nearly empty bottle of milk. All other vessels contain various coloured powders and solutions. In fact, were it not for the setting, we may have assumed that the maddish scientist was an untidy chef preparing a midnight snack…an EVIL midnight snack (raisin, liver and cabbage pudding or something).

As we draw closer we can hear music in the background. The tune is instantly recognizable as Petrovich Mussorgsky’s “Night on the Bare Mountain”.

(here's where you have to press play and read on. It's not a "watch me" video, more a "hear me" one)

The Maddish scientist’s movements seem to be in time with the violent and powerful tones and themes exuded by the music. Occasionally he stops dead and looks nervously towards the ancient doorway or window half expecting a knock or a spying pair of eyes. Reassured that he is working in secrecy he turns back to the task of adding miniscule amounts of ingredients to the concoction upon the burner. Constantly muttering to himself, we come closer to hear what he is saying.

“rubarubabaglacktysweetness… a bit more chocolate for taste …grumblegrumblegrumble …just a bit more… almost there …rhubarhubarhuba..”

He smirks before turning the Bunsen burner off and carefully removes the concoction from the stand with a pair of oversized tongs. Off and onto the untidy mess of a table are flung the soiled pair of rubber gloves and his lab coat. Our maddish scientist makes his way over to the window and looks out at the rain, the unusually large drops relentlessly pound away at the panes.

One minute passes and he stands there…

Two minutes go by, yet still, there he remains…

Five minutes and he begins to show visible signs of impatience while glancing up toward the heavens.

Finally, a flash of lightning followed by the violent rumble of thunder. This is what he has been waiting for. The maddish scientist throws his arms into the air and starts laughing. A more contorted, high pitched and unsettling sound, the ears of an average man are unlikely to ever behold. There is no doubt that a child unfortunate enough to hear him would ever return to peaceful slumber and cotton candy forests in…Muffinland. He goes on for some time, his sinewy neck strains to contain the energy bursting from his lungs and throat. Every muscle quakes with the force and one might even guess that the violent outburst of otherworldly, manic laughter coming from this man is inflicting an immense amount of pain on his feeble underutilized muscles.

All of a sudden he stops laughing and folds over, exhausted, into an untidy heap on the floor. His arms are wound tightly around his gut and his knees bend up toward his sagging forehead till they make gentle contact.

The maddish scientist sleeps…

A beaker of brown frothy liquid cools as the storm passes over.

What has he prepared?

What does the liquid do?

Will he be pursued by agree mobs as a result of the brew?

Alas, we have no way of telling. We must wait and see what the maddish scientist has in store for us when he awakes from slumber.

(sorry. I had to end it here. The post was already over my word limit)