(Please note I have no issues with people that are over-weight. I happen to be very attached to my own chubb (it’s warm in winter and soft to land on…so there). Don’t take any offense if I come across as a bit blunt or insensitive, I don’t know any other way to be honest)
THE POST~
I Ebrahim Ally, sat down and watched a whole episode of some weight loss program on BBC lifestyle (I can’t remember the title). Before anyone starts jumping to conclusions, I must state that it was the weekend, I was in couch potatoe mode and there was absolutely NOTHING else to watch on DSTV.
Now that I have defended my decision let me post about my experience (or at least as well as I can remember it).
*click*
“Welcome to BBC lifestyle, next up, Sandy and Kim help overweight women loose the pounds in ________”
Although a more accurate announcement of the program would have been…
“Welcome to BBC lifestyle, next up, some fat lady is reminded about how ugly she looks and that she is going to die a horrible painful death by two thin ladies that are under the impression that they are increasing her self esteem while simultaneously starving her and prodding her in front of a camera”
Be honest, you’d rather watch the second one right… we all have evil tendencies, just fess up and you’ll feel better.
So let me get back to the program.
It starts off with these two skinny ladies staring in disbelief at another lady (‘fat one’ from here on) that weighs 20 stone or something (however much that is… Ohh I worked it out 1 stone = 6.35 kg therefore 127 kg). In any case the fat one is asked a series of questions to find out about her history, eating habits, exercise levels…. So anyways one of the questions they asked her was.
‘How often do you take a dump?’
To which fat one replied in a quite voice
‘twice a month.’
Followed by awkward silence from Kim and Sandy (and probably all the viewers…I know I was pretty amazed). In any case the skinny ladies decided to make a little model to illustrate what not pooping in two weeks does to your insides. She gets a pigs GIT, fills it up with food and keeps stuffing more and more in there without letting any come out. This thing is left for two weeks and then they go back to see what happened. One of the skinny ones starts pulling this crap out of the pigs rectum with her bare hands and waves it at the fat one saying
“See! See what happens when you don’t take a dump in two weeks! This is the same thing that’s happening inside you right now!”
To which the fat one replies
“!!!”
I mean seriously! If she did that with a regular persons crap it would have had the same effect. Any hysterical woman waving lumps of faecal matter in your face with her bare hands would illicit a shocked response (for all the wrong reasons of course…).
So I braved it out to see what else these ‘diet guru’s’ had in store for the fat one. They spent like 90% of the show talking about poo and bowel action. How the hell can someone speak so long about butt cigars! They went on and on…
The other 10% of the show basically involved the skinny ones prodding the fat one in the stomach and telling her to run more.
At the end of the show the skinny ones return to the fat one a month later to see how the recommended lifestyle changes have altered her …life (and bowel action) for the better. The fat one grins and says with sincerity
“Thank you Sandy and Kim, I sometimes go for a crap twice a day now after following your advice!”
Which was followed by applause, tears and hugging… or was it tears, hugging then applause? Whatever...
I just found it ridiculous and funny for some reason. Is this normal behaviour for women? I knew they tended to be more sensitive then men, guess I’m a bit confused because guys would never become emotional and start crying about something like bowel action.
I think I will avoid programs of this nature in the future. They undermine people that are different. I personally think every adult has got the brains to know exactly why they are what they are. The people on these shows were probably already comfortable and happy before the crazy nutter came along and waved crap in their faces to make them feel awkward and want to change into something they are not…. So some people are fat, who says you can’t be fat and happy at the same time? Sure you’ll live a shorter life but as I recall, Dennis Leary once said re smoking
“the last ten year of an old persons life are crap in any case, die before you have to return to diapers” or something along those lines.
THE POST~
I Ebrahim Ally, sat down and watched a whole episode of some weight loss program on BBC lifestyle (I can’t remember the title). Before anyone starts jumping to conclusions, I must state that it was the weekend, I was in couch potatoe mode and there was absolutely NOTHING else to watch on DSTV.
Now that I have defended my decision let me post about my experience (or at least as well as I can remember it).
*click*
“Welcome to BBC lifestyle, next up, Sandy and Kim help overweight women loose the pounds in ________”
Although a more accurate announcement of the program would have been…
“Welcome to BBC lifestyle, next up, some fat lady is reminded about how ugly she looks and that she is going to die a horrible painful death by two thin ladies that are under the impression that they are increasing her self esteem while simultaneously starving her and prodding her in front of a camera”
Be honest, you’d rather watch the second one right… we all have evil tendencies, just fess up and you’ll feel better.
So let me get back to the program.
It starts off with these two skinny ladies staring in disbelief at another lady (‘fat one’ from here on) that weighs 20 stone or something (however much that is… Ohh I worked it out 1 stone = 6.35 kg therefore 127 kg). In any case the fat one is asked a series of questions to find out about her history, eating habits, exercise levels…. So anyways one of the questions they asked her was.
‘How often do you take a dump?’
To which fat one replied in a quite voice
‘twice a month.’
Followed by awkward silence from Kim and Sandy (and probably all the viewers…I know I was pretty amazed). In any case the skinny ladies decided to make a little model to illustrate what not pooping in two weeks does to your insides. She gets a pigs GIT, fills it up with food and keeps stuffing more and more in there without letting any come out. This thing is left for two weeks and then they go back to see what happened. One of the skinny ones starts pulling this crap out of the pigs rectum with her bare hands and waves it at the fat one saying
“See! See what happens when you don’t take a dump in two weeks! This is the same thing that’s happening inside you right now!”
To which the fat one replies
“!!!”
I mean seriously! If she did that with a regular persons crap it would have had the same effect. Any hysterical woman waving lumps of faecal matter in your face with her bare hands would illicit a shocked response (for all the wrong reasons of course…).
So I braved it out to see what else these ‘diet guru’s’ had in store for the fat one. They spent like 90% of the show talking about poo and bowel action. How the hell can someone speak so long about butt cigars! They went on and on…
The other 10% of the show basically involved the skinny ones prodding the fat one in the stomach and telling her to run more.
At the end of the show the skinny ones return to the fat one a month later to see how the recommended lifestyle changes have altered her …life (and bowel action) for the better. The fat one grins and says with sincerity
“Thank you Sandy and Kim, I sometimes go for a crap twice a day now after following your advice!”
Which was followed by applause, tears and hugging… or was it tears, hugging then applause? Whatever...
I just found it ridiculous and funny for some reason. Is this normal behaviour for women? I knew they tended to be more sensitive then men, guess I’m a bit confused because guys would never become emotional and start crying about something like bowel action.
I think I will avoid programs of this nature in the future. They undermine people that are different. I personally think every adult has got the brains to know exactly why they are what they are. The people on these shows were probably already comfortable and happy before the crazy nutter came along and waved crap in their faces to make them feel awkward and want to change into something they are not…. So some people are fat, who says you can’t be fat and happy at the same time? Sure you’ll live a shorter life but as I recall, Dennis Leary once said re smoking
“the last ten year of an old persons life are crap in any case, die before you have to return to diapers” or something along those lines.
3 comments:
What never fails to floor me is that these women are desperate enough to go on international TV and be poked and prodded and asked awkward questions... surely they could join a gym or find a nutritionist?
I watched a show the other day of people phoning in embarrassing questions to a panel of doctors. I'm sorry, you do NOT need 4 doctors to answer a question about how to remove butt-crack hair...
how awful. i have never watched a diet show in my life. and they sound horrible!!!
i did once watch extreme makeover, but the people come out all fake tanned and fake everything and it was not cool.
i dont like those kinds of reality shows
It's rather amusing the lengths people will go through to be on TV Helen (I wouldn't be surprised if they gained weight in the first place just so they could qualify for the program). It used to be a big deal back when there were only like 2 channels and you would become famous by default. Now nobody cares...
Hey! i saw you on TV! doesn't mean much anymore. For example we all knew all the big brother and Idols contestants from the first seasons but it's all blurred after that.
And Sarah, Don't even try to watch a diet show. Unless you are with me, then we can point and laugh together ;)
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