A wise man once said...

I sit now and ponder over the last few weeks. My life has been quite interesting you see. Mostly private affairs of which I will not dwell on here. In general everything is okay, an immense sense of calm filters through my heart, mind and soul as I type. The tinkling sound of a teaspoon meeting the edge of the cup while I gently stir hot fragrant rooibos and camomile tea is as good and as comforting as listening to an angel playing soft chords on a golden harp. Why all this you ask?

The dawn of realisation!

In this state of bliss everything makes sense. We humans place far too much emphasis on petty issues. These may seem like insignificant things and may be taken for granted by some. They do, however, build up inside. Some reach a point at which they explode into an undignified tearing heap of emotion. Others violently wrestle with their own minds, trying in vain to hide from the truth, all the while spiralling down into oblivion.

In your head, a logical voice speaks (imagine... Anthony Hopkins). "You, have problems!? Hah! Stop feeling sorry for yourself you pitiful excuse for a human." Anthony stares questioningly into your eyes before saying...

"...The world is full of, 'problems'. The trick to overcoming them lies in your own head. A problem is only percived as one after ones mind chooses to categorise a situation thusly."

"Well, think about it..."

"You are in fact, stronger than you know."

"The boundaries you are confined within are nothing more than imaginary points of failure you have identified for yourself based on... well... nothing really."

"You're going to die sometime whether you like it or not. Must you waste your life dwelling on petty issues and living in fear?"

"Get over it..."

It'll never be the same...

Since starting work on my MSc in fruit and sugar selection in birds, I've noticed that my own fruit consumption levels have dropped quite considerably. I used to eat around three a day (mostly blended together in a smoothie, but that counts...). Now perhaps one a week.

Could it be that I spend too much time writing about fruits? Perhaps I'm just sick of them? No... that's not it... it had to be something else.

Do you know what it was?

It was all because scientists, in their effort to impress other people, constantly refer to 'fruits' as 'the reproductive organs of plants' in their work. What's wrong with just saying 'I looked at some fruit...'. It just makes me feel dirty. Every time I eat a fruit I'm guilty of 'feasting on the reproductive organs' of innocent plants. I can almost picture myself sitting on the floor in a dark corner while I eat an orange. Geez imagine the animal equivalent! "okay honey I'm off to Ovary and Testicle City to pick up a bunch of _______" (okay I can't go on, I'll starve to death if I carry on down this road...)

EEwww!!!

No thanks. I'll stick to non reproductive organ food like t-bone steaks and... chopped liver. With pasta and cheese...

So there.

PLEASE! someone convince me otherwise.