Some flavours are just not meant to be mixed

I went to RJ’s the other night. It’s kind of like a scummy family restaurant. I found Luke's description quite apt “Just your average don't-touch-the-table-top-or-you-will-stick-to-it kinda place”. Since this restaurant isn’t halaal (Meat products forbidden) my choices on the menu were quite limited:

Plate of chips

Deep fried potatoe skins (WTF? Who pays for deep fried compost material?)

&

Beans Bunny Chow (1/2 a loaf of bread filled with beans for R65…it’s R4 at Kara Nicha’s)

Yup three items…

Needless to say I decided to settle on a lime milkshake. I mean who could possible screw up mixing milk, ice-cream, lime syrup and putting it into a cup with a straw… I’ll tell you who. RJ’s! They thought putting marshmallow bits into my lime milkshake would be a good idea. They became all hard and sticky and totally ruined the shake. When I order a lime shake I expect just that. Don’t go adding other random stuff to it for no reason, some things just shouldn’t be mixed.

Thus was born the topic of today’s post.

First on the chopping block: Pineapples in a burger or on a pizza. WHY? These foods are savoury. If I know one thing about cooking it is DON’T MIX SWEET AND SAVOURY. By all means put bits of pineapple onto a vanilla ice-cream waffle or into a fruit salad, just don’t desecrate my favourite food with it.

My next mixing no no originates from a food partnership that EVERYONE likes. Strawberries and Cream. MMmmmmm… I could probably live off this stuff, so it really tweaked something for the worse inside me when I saw this product on the shelves in a local supermarket.

Sorry for the terrible picture quality (couldn’t find a nice one). In case you can’t read the label, it says strawberries and cream flavoured TOILET SPRAY! Seriously! Some Wally at Glade ™ was guilty of going through the following thought process:

“People really like eating strawberries and cream. Therefore it only makes sense that they would want to make their own excrement smell like strawberries and cream. In the toilet… flushing your linkin logs… strawberries and cream… wonderful”

Pillock!

Next up is the pawpaw or papaya. This tropical fruit is loved by many. I can’t say the same for my taste preferences though. To be honest, I’ve never really gotten around to actually tasting pawpaws. You see I think pawpaw’s are the most vile smelling fruit you can buy. As far a I’m concerned, the lingering stench of a once happy (but now dead and decomposing) nest of trigger happy, coprophagic skunks should not be mixed with anything. You know how we have such strict laws about smoking in public? I propose that we have isolated sections and demarcated zones in public areas where people who like pawpaws can happily munch away. Yes, ‘pawpaw zones’ would make me very happy indeed. Oh and a take home message > mixing pawpaw into your fruit salad is blackmail!