Somebody asked me if my religion prevents me from killing mosquitoes the other day.
The logic > you're not going to eat it so you technically should not kill it.
Worried that I'd have to eat every mosquito I killed from now on, I decided to look further into this matter (I know ants taste kind of zingy and sour and I've heard that flying ants and meal worms are almost buttery gooey but I don't fancy eating a mosquito. Especially after it's been drinking someone else s blood, Bleuck!!!).
In short, the rule regarding killing things like mosquitoes is as follows > I may kill it if it is going to harm me.
YAY!
To celebrate my new found clear conscience (wrt killing Mozzies, flies, cockroaches...) I've decided to post some of the more inventive methods I use to cream these evil critters (before they harm me...).
>The vacuum cleaner - this is a new method I started using the other day when I was cleaning the house. It's funny watching the mosquitoes spiral into the hose (like a star ship would into a black hole or a turd being flushed...not that I watch or anything, that's just the nature of draining water...).
>The towel - Remember in school after swimming there would always be some wiseguy that twists his towel and flicks it to sting your speedo clad highknee out of the change rooms...Well it works like a charm for that pesky mozzie on the ceiling. SNAP! SPLAT!
>The one handed grab - I find that the Clapping method doesn't work too well, the air that escapes from between your hands carries the mozzie to safety. The one hand grab is much more effective (and less painful). It's as simple as it sounds, use one hand to grab that blood sucker. It's easier than it sounds, they fly very slowly. Remember though, it may still be alive in your hand so be sure to mush up those fingers well.
>Deodorant can flame thrower - Very effective but stay well clear of curtains, eyebrows, other people, hydrogen blimps...
If you find that you are fighting a losing battle all is not lost you can still get a good nights sleep by:
A - Switching the fan on
B - Not breathing (this way they don't pick up your Carbon Dioxide signal (okay so it has it's flaws, I'm working on it)
c - Sleeping in the car (windows closed and be snappy with that door)
Cheerio
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7 comments:
refolltii have yet to encounter a mozzie in japan!
in fact, i dont think i have seen an ant for the last year and a half
whenever a fly comes into the classroom, the kiddies go nuts :) makes me seem like a plaas meisie
Good one....have you seen the mozzies in Florida...eeew, i'd rather run away. They call them the National Bird. Sofuckinbig!!!!
I tend to ignore mozies as much as possible, unless they're actively drinking from me, or they bu around my head while I'm trying to sleep... I saw an add for a cool electrified tennis-racket type thing that you can use as a fly-swat. Maybe that would work for mozzies as well?
eebee you are one of the few people who's writing makes me laugh out loud, thank you for that! I was loving the image of you high-taliing it out of somwhere in your speedo...:)
From personal experience, using a rolled up campus newspaper, such as the Vuvuzela, for example, and leaping from ones bed to swat the blighters off the ceiling works pretty darn well too...Only problem is, you have to find them first and then, if you miss, you'll be leaping around the room cursing for a good hour.
I've seen those tennis racket insect zappers at a friends place. very effective! I want one but can't fine them anywhere (always sold out).
For the count, i stopped wearing speedo's after primary school. I also swear never to wear one again.
I recall Prof Graham Alexander using rubber bands to kill mozzies with a high degree of accuracy (you need a lot of practice. i couldn't do it)
I LOVE GRAHAM ALEXANDER!
<3
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