Ever wondered what it would be like to be an animal? Well, SURPRISE! Under scientific classification you (a human) fall under the great Kingdom that is 'Animalia'. Also included in this category are earthworms, mosquitoes, whales and pretty much everything that moves which isn't a virus, plant or weather.
I've done it again, I've gone and killed off my whole big idea by destroying the opening line. Oh well, let's pretend that becoming an animal meant that you lost your human abilities which were not used by other animal species. What would you consider to be your most valuable ability?
Talking? Imagine our world without verbal communication. Social interaction would probably be reduced to a smile and a wave. People would become solitary and reclusive.
What about intellect? If we all had the mind of Mitt Romney and the people who voted for him (booyah!) we'd probably be happy, living in a sort of dumbfounded bliss. Ignorant of the world and its real issues but also shunned and avoided by everyone and everything...
I could go on, instead I will focus on what I consider to be one of our most valued abilities, "Effective use of opposable thumbs". You see I have just spent the last 24 hours living with limited use of both my thumbs. Yesterday morning I tore a piece of my right thumb-nail off with a modified cheese grater and sliced the tip off my left thumb off with a knife in a freak citrus accident. Since then my life has been unbelievably difficult!
Us humans built our world with thumbs and FOR thumbs. Not only is it difficult for me to perform mundane everyday activities like writing, preparing food and eating but it's also nearly impossible to operate our most basic machinery! Try opening a tap or buttoning up a shirt without your thumbs. At one point today I was on the verge of strangling an innocent bag of peanuts in a failed attempt to get at the contents (picture Homer Simpson grabbing Bart 'Why you Little...'). Thankfully I realised that I had a pair of scissors in my desk to help save the day.
In any case this post is my effort to bring to everyones attention, that marvel of the human body, the opposable thumb. Always respect and take care of your thumbs good readers.
PS: Have you ever tried using a pair of scissors without your thumbs? I'm afraid to announce
"peanut bag-1; EEbEE-0"
