The tool of questionable use

I don't mean to brag but...my fingers are sooo smart. They made an amazing invention while I was reading pdfs the other day. I didn’t even realize till I had finished off the last pdf. I exited the article and looked in my hands to find this amazingly intricate piece of equipment.

It is a piece of plastic straw about 70 mm long with a tiny angled hole at the base about 10 mm up. A paperclip has been expertly guilded to fit the inside of the straw without slipping out. The top 30mm of the paperclip protrude from the straw and angle at 90 degrees to form a sort of pointy bit… On closer inspection one notices a staple wrapped around the base of the protruding end of the paperclip with yet another pointy bit facing the opposite direction to the first… pointy bit.

You may be asking yourself ‘What does it do…?’ about now yes? Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t a clue. I’m trying to figure it out and so far it’s quite handy for pressing the reset button on my calculator and Mp3 player. It’s also pretty good at unjamming my fishtank filter after it gets clogged and if I cover the one end whilst blowing down the other it’s a high pitched whistle. I’m not really happy with any of these functions though, it looks like it this thing has some higher purpose on this planet. Hopefully someone will come across my blog, see the picture and description and say ‘THAT’S IT! I’VE FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT xxxINATOR…!!!’ then I become a famous inventor and retire to a mountain village surrounded by peaceful monks.

In the mean time, I’ll stash it somewhere inconspicuous.

Before you say ‘It probably does nothing.’ or ‘EEbEE has invented something that won’t work’ just look the idea of a helicopter that wouldn’t work, below. As I recall, it made its inventor quite famous… (amazing paintings aside…).