New on supermarket shelves in SA

I was in Pick 'n Pay today when I noticed this product on the shelves for the first time. Why did Kellogg's think it would be a good idea to name a breakfast cereal 'Smack' (unless said cereal contained a certain 'secret ingredient')! I mean honestly! do they think people will need their fix of smack in the mornings? Does the name guarantee a long term customer from a particular segment of buyers?



I'm not so sure... The frog/lizard thing seems to be very excited about the whole deal though, suspiciously so in my opinion. Have you ever seen a cereal box character with as big a smile???



Stay well away from this one friends, it gives me the heebee djeebeez

How to solve the rhino horn saga

It being Rhino Day and all...

You think you are living in a modern world, a world where people are finally beginning to understand the way things work. Using science, logic and technological advances to solve problems is the norm.

No it isn't.

Some crazy backward bastards go and ruin everything by believing that a rhinos horn has medicinal value! According to 16th century pharmacists (yes, 16th century!!!) the magical horn is said to treat fever, rheumatism, gout, snake bites, hallucinations, typhoid, headaches, carbuncles, vomiting, food poisoning, libido, being possessed by the devil... but rhino horn does none of these things. These people may as well treat their condition by eating their own hair and nail clippings. Heck they may as well drink a glass of water, it's far more useful medicinally.

Thereafter, a group of even crazier money hungry sods go and harvest horns from live animals to meet the demand. A win win situation? I think not! Armed with aforementioned technological advances, poachers have become devastatingly efficient at harvesting horns. Rhino numbers are declining and so on and so forth...

THE SOLUTION

Okay it's pretty easy and I can't imagine why it hasn't been tried yet. You see the horn has tremendous value, it must have if poachers are able to form well organised armed teams in helicopters (!!!) to harvest a few (dozen maybe) horns a month at the most. Horns are also very scarce which drives their value up, this is logical. So what if...(let me put this into perspective)... what if authorities were to flood the market with fake rhino horn. If it is traditionally dispensed in a powder form simply drown the black market in fake product (it'll be just as effective, medicinally, as the real stuff).

1. Brainless customers will be happy because they could get their product cheaply.
   
2. Poachers would stop hacking rhinos to bits because selling chickens wings on the black market would be far more profitable
3. Rhino extinction probabilities would be reduced significantly
4. Hippies would stop their endless moaning on the subject (they'd find something else but we can be happy in between complaints)
   

The lowest form of advertising

How low can you go?

I was going through a computer shop brochure to look for specials the other day and I noticed something that annoyed me a tad. You know that your local computer store is taking advantage of ignorant consumers when they are offering…

Wait for it…

… “FREE Downgrades on all systems”

What the hell! What do these people think of us? Even someone that knows nothing about computers should gather that a downgrade is something you should not go for as a free option. I guess there are a number of consumers that see ‘FREE’ and just blank out and ask for the free bits as a reflex when they spend their hard earned cash.

Who's to blame here? I don't know... I mean, if someone is stupid enough to fall for their ploy does this person deserve to get ripped off for being such an idiot? Or should we be more critical of the shop owners that see it fit to allow people to effectively pay them for non-services?

What happened to people conducting their businesses with honour and integrity? The veggie man that picks out the best fruit from the basket with his own hands to keep his customer satisfied? The door to door salesman that uses his own product? The broom lady that actually makes her own brooms as opposed to just buying them from the chinashoppe?

In general, where are the people that used to do a job to achive something greater than money and material wealth. They were providing a service to humanity (however big or small). The job perks were smiles and satisfaction from clients and the cash was just a byproduct, a neccesary evil.

All...

Gone...

?

No. A glimmer of hope.

'Come to Panarotti's where family fun and values are our priority, even grandma won't complain after she has tasted our fab Pizzas!'

'Tonights special Seafood Pizza R49.99 each....with a FREE
downgrade to
margarita'